Don't you just love it when the enemy attacks? I'm being sooo sarcastic right now. He takes us at a weak moment and chooses to entice those things in our life to rear their ugly heads. Well...last night he did it to me.
This is an honest blog...so I am going to be honest.
During choir practice, we were practicing "I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin. It was hard for me because I last sang that at Grandy's funeral 2 months ago. In the middle of the song, I burst into tears. I guess I just finally grieved his loss and I could so imagine him singing his sweet heart out with his great big smile at the feet of Jesus. It was a "moment" for me...one I'll always remember. I had to just close my eyes, cry and praise my Lord.
After practice, we have Praise Team rehearsal. My emotions were still raw. I sat down and saw that we would be practicing a new song that we would sing as a praise team special. It is one of my favorite songs of all time and one I and Steve (my brother) had hoped to sing together. He'd even talked to our Worship Leader about it. And the enemy attacked.
My attitude went sour and I began to voice it to some of the other members. I am so ashamed of this now. God was ALL OVER ME about it. In my quiet time this morning, I really felt broken and guilty of tearing down other believers.
So...I confessed my sin, claimed His forgiveness, defied the enemy and prayed for unity.
God once again showed me that it's not about me! It's about Him and His glory!! I'm just a vessel. A broken one with lots of holes. But it's through those holes that His glory shines through. There is nothing good in me...but Him. Thank you, Jesus!!!!!
"Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift." Eph 4:29- The Message
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