At the Cross

I am exhausted!!!

Today has been a hard day. Such emotional highs and lows.

Today was my first day on the stage with the praise team. How exciting :) It was wonderful to lead out in worship and to hear a choir of worshipers behind me and in front of me! Such a piece of what Heaven will be.

Tonight was our Tell The World Live Cd recording. WHAT A TIME OF WORSHIP it was!!! I think the most awesome thing was the prayer time we as a team had before the night began. We gathered and let the Spirit lead our prayers and..MAN...did God show up! I saw so many people offer themselves to the Lord in worship and it was an unbelievable sight.

But...I was in the midst of a battle. The enemy was all over me. I've been fighting him all day. And I'm tired. I'm broken. I want to give up. I had to sacrifice to worship tonight because my heart just wasn't in it. After the concert, I fell to pieces. I had no more strength to fight.

And God stepped in.

In the form of loved ones and friends, God met me at the alter of brokenness. When I had no words, He spoke through my dear prayer partner. I laid on my face before Him and just let Him speak love to me through her prayers. I wept. I surrendered. I was comforted and strengthened. I got business done and claimed victory!!

I heard her words...how I am faithfully searching after God and that the enemy is furious and choosing to attack me in this way, how Satan will NOT have this family, how the battle is the Lord's NOT mine.

I receive the suffering because I know that it is because I've made the enemy so stinkin mad that he can't stand it. I also know that these sufferings are God's refining of me. The end result of refinement is a diamond. A beautiful, brilliant diamond. It takes A LOT of pressing to make a diamond. God is squeezing me to make me beautiful.

Is the battle over? Not by any means. But I can face it today...because He loves me.